Hey AS - thanks for chiming in. Yes, he is a tool (I haven't heard that term used in years). I do think a lot of it was symptomatic of the place he was at at the time. He NEEDED to find things wrong with me because if there was nothing wrong with me, what did that say about him. I get it. And I don't take it personally anymore. Strangely, I catch him looking at me from time to time, and I know he finds me attractive, but I also know he'd rather stick hot pokers in his eyes then ever say it. That's his problem to deal with. Not mine.
Not sure if he had a white van. Did not stick around long enough to find out. I did find out he lives with his parents (he is renovating a flat apparently). What man in their 30's lives with their parents?!?!?
I'm glad I waited to date. Now that I have done it I don't know if it is for me. This has nothing to do with my H. I just find it all a little forced and, really, the effort required is huge. I have never seen more than one man at a time and now I am effectively dating three men, only one of whom I actually feel a proper connection with (and he is in no way viable). I know it's the done thing now, chatting away with multiple people at the same time, but it feels like I am in some way leading people on. And I am still being contacted by others and I still check every now and again to see if any of them have any potential. This does not feel right. People are going to get hurt. And it won't be me.
DV - I think I will refer to the 25 year old the scientist. The thing that made it feel like a connection was that we were very 'couply'. We held hands whilst we slept. We spooned. We lay in bed in the morning just chilling out in each others arms. I have only felt like that with two men, both of whom I was engaged to and one I married. I know the difference between sex and intimacy and this was definitely intimacy.
He has not text in the last two days. But he is on one of the smaller islands in Thailand and I guess he is busy doing stuff and/or wi-fi is not that easy to find. I wasn't expecting him to text me at all whilst he is away, so I am not too worried about not hearing from him. He could also be using the time to work out how he feels.
H has been away for two days now and I have not spoken to him. He called the girls earlier this evening and I heard D9 ask if he wanted to speak to me. He was on speaker phone and his response was "I don't think mummy wants to speak to me" . D9 came into my room and asked if I wanted to speak to him and I said "No, I am OK". There was a sadness in his voice. Not his usual "I don't need to talk to mummy". Not "No, unless mummy needs to speak to me".
