When I was younger I’m pretty sure I was slipped something. I was casually dating a new guy and we went to a party together. I remember not knowing what the hell happened that night - like I had completely blacked it out and the lm later the guy holding my hair as I threw up in the bushes. But luckily my best friend made a 3rd wheel out of herself and came back with us. I don’t think it was necessarily my date that did that. But I have never gotten that sick from drinking ever as I tend to not tolerate more then 1 or 2 glasses. I barely drink in general unless I go out and when I do it has to be a nice quality wine or liquor or I get sick.
Also night time weekday dates are tough for me as I work a few evenings each week and I have my son every week night. So I understand that it will place limits on the guys Willing to deal with that. I don’t want to invest in a baby sitter or Uber for a guy I never met either.
I do agree with you that an evening meet up is more romantic. It feels sexier to dress up for someone.
I’ll just play it by ear when the time comes. I do like hearing what others have experienced and how others feel. You and the dr seem like you had good chemistry and we do get instincts on who is safe to make out in a parking lot with
I only did coffee dates for the first meeting, and NEVER give a guy your phone number until after you've had a coffee date - that's a good way to end up with dic pics.
You don't want a guy to have your phone number, last name or address until you've at least had one coffee date and feel comfortable he's not a stalker or crazy. Since my email address includes my whole name I never used it until I had met somebody in person.
Men complain in general that they don't get many responses on OLD, so if you see somebody you are interested in, you should contact them. Or at least "like" or "wink" at them, if the platform gives you the opportunity to do something like that. I had generally better luck with the men I contacted (because I already knew I found something attractive about their profile) than with the men who contacted me (who often hadn't even read my profile). Also, some men had their age limit set slightly lower than my age, but were plenty interested in me when I contacted them. So some likely prospects might not even be seeing you because of age, or geographical limits.
Andrew - it wasn't the duck in the picture that was disturbing - it was the fact that he was wearing a BATHROBE while holding the duck.
Personally I found that brunch dates (I have no young kids) worked well for me. No reasonable expectation of an bumping of the uglies being proposed, usually the places are cheery and well lit, easy to explain you have afternoon plans and certainly easier on the wallet.
And I like brunch. They often have pie.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I agree with Andrew, I like the idea of a brunch date or a late breakfast even, but then again, I'm a breakfast person and I like to eat breakfast out. I like lunch dates as well. I am not a coffee drinker, so asking someone for a coffee date seems odd when I don't like coffee, but most places have other options. I get what J said about day dates aren't romantic, but if it is my first meeting with someone, I'm not looking for romance. I also get what he said about going out for drinks. I am a drinker, but I don't typically go out for drinks on the first date because I don't really know that person yet. For me, personally, sticking to brunch, lunch, go grab a sweet tea kind of thing works best.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Brunch or lunch still negates the main point of a coffee date: its short. If you know after five minutes that the person is definitely not for you, or worse yet creepy and weird, you don't want to be stuck for a long meal. Coffee date implies it will be brief and both parties have a plausible out to leave relatively soon. It's just a MEETING, not a real date yet.
I think I was posting at the same time others were posting and missed some advice by LH and Dawn so thanks. I still don’t think I will initiate this time around though with a message. I’m gonna just focus on the guys that make an effort. I think guys say they like women to do that, but then think they don’t have to work as hard (again not all guys) cause it’s a done deal (ex bf ) Or maybe a guy that doesn’t initiate is the type that’s gonna just always allow the woman to initiate out of a passive or lazy personality type (ex bf)
I also reread something about Andrews B that was disturbing and really sad. There’s some great books I would recommend by Gavin Becker - one of them is called protecting the gift (but more geared for keeping kids safe). Any way, the author talks about how many women feel the need to be polite and nice first and how it makes them a prime target. That’s kind of what that situation sounds like. In his books he teaches women that they don’t have to be polite and gives them some really good scenarios and helps them recognize what to look out for by predators and how to respond )
I am certainly not a loud or tough female but I was raised in a pre gentrified area in the 80s where Being “rude” is acceptable and the norm. If I’m not comfortable, I don’t worry about being polite. I shut my window and drive away or shut down a conversation and find someone around I’m comfortable with. I am teaching my son to follow his instincts and if someone seems creepy or gives him the wrong vibe to just get away. I explain to him “that guy gave me the creeps” that’s why I left. And I don’t care whether someone gets offended. I know in other areas of the country that’s not the norm though.
For example, One time some guy pulled up real close to my car and was indicating that he wanted me to roll my window down. He kind of blocked my car to do so and I’m thinking “who the f asks a women with a baby in a car seat for directions?” So I pulled away and almost hit his car and he got mad and was yelling out his window. But I didn’t care. I just drove to a nearby fire station in case he followed me. I think more women need to be ok with being rude to people that make them uncomfortable.
So, I went to pick up son at ex mil’s house and it brought back memories. It really feels like yesterday that I was just hanging out in her backyard by the pool. We went there so frequently and i guess I felt really nostalgic. I have to say, her backyard just felt like a really nice and very positive place. I really get what others feel when they say, “I can’t believe he/she was able to just discard it all”. I just can’t believe how it’s been 4 years, yet it still feels like it was yesterday.
I still feel really traumatized by how ex treated me. Each year it gets better. But to me, it feels like I’m getting over a really bad crime or assault. I have dreams that I am yelling at ex or yelling at ex mil. It’s not that I miss him or want him back. It’s just getting over the feeling that a crime was committed against me. That’s what I am struggling with. What’s worse is that him and his mother try to act friendly and like aquaintances and to me, it’s as if someone’s rapist is going about in society and being friendly and acting like nothing happened. I am only nice when I need something and I have no problem making that obvious.
I decided that I am going to sign up for a paid on line dating site next week. I still have to get recent pics of myself. I feel like I look so much older then I did almost 2 years ago when I signed on the 1st time. I weigh about 4 to 5 lbs more and so know that shouldn’t matter but it does to me. 5 lbs is a lot on me and i know i can lose it in a few weeks with just a really strict diet. But I’m struggling with sugars and carbs. I can go 2 days and then I binge cause of emotions. Something I never did before.
But I’m looking forward to dating. Last time around i went into it all wrong.
I feel so nervous. I just submitted my profile on OLD. My pics are really not good compared to other women but I didn’t want to filter and I just don’t have many recent ones. At worst the guys that don’t like heavily made up women won’t go for me (which is probably a good thing) and the guys that do won’t be disappointed if we meet up.
My profile itself is a bit long. But I think it’s good for the people that bother to read it. Do guys even care about profiles? Will see what happens. Im not allowing myself to look until later.
I can’t believe how unconfident I feel. I worry about patients seeing me up there and a little bit about ex bf seeing me there and feeling hurt. He has not been back up on the site.
I only read the profile if I liked the pictures. Do the pictures you posted look like you? If you met someone out on a date would they say you look like your pictures?
