You said the D is final? Why is she still there? What was the agreement for living arrangements? I'd ask her: "When will you be moving out?" Is she can't afford to keep the current place and pay the bills then it is on her to find some place she can afford.
She is still there because I told her she can stay for longer so the kids are in the same house. She said she will pay me a small portion of the expenses. Not much but with the D every extra single cent is helpful to me given alimony, child support and attorney fees. She will move out if I ask her to but then reconnection becomes harder.
I think reconnection is going to be harder when she sees your attitude is "reconnection becomes harder if she moves out". She knows she still has you as backup. It shows her that even though the D is final on paper that it isn't in your mind. If you had moved on, you wouldn't live with an ex, it'd be too weird. Plus it'd get in the way of your life.
It's not "going dark" when you don't text for a couple days but still live together.
Originally Posted by Destroyd
MLCxH, I completely understand wanting to do everything to spend more time with your children. I keep thinking how evil it is that a spouse could even consider stealing your kids away from the other parent for 50% or more of the time. The time for raising children is so short, and one of the most precious duties a person can have. So, whether or not it is proper DBing, I completely understand how you feel.
Destroyd,
I am going to have to disagree with you. It's not "stealing" just b/c someone gets a divorce. You don't own kids and you don't have exclusive 100% custody no matter what. I understand your statement to be a reflection of the pain we have all been in, so I don't knock you for saying that. But just thinking about the emotions you're feeling I totally get where you're coming from.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
