I wouldn't go to a separation counselor. That's just weird to me and I think a lot of LBS will "do anything" to get the WAS back. That attitude doesn't serve the LBS well though.
I wouldn't go telling her you want to work on the marriage either - she already knows that right? So change it up IMO.
I think you're right, I need to change it up.
Not much has changed in the sitch - we've been civil and hadn't talked more about moving out. Wife started IC yesterday with a young married female counselor. Wife said she likes her and is going to continue to see her. I'm sure this isn't going to help the sitch as wife will only tell her of all the lonely times and look for conformation that she's making the right decision which I'm sure the IC will do.
Someone asked me "why do you want to be with someone who has made it clear that they don't want to be with you?" This made me really stop and think. The obvious answer is that I love my wife and child, think we could be a happy successful family if she would forgive and give me a chance to make her happy. But how long am I going to hold out?
The GAL concept is interesting - some of the problems in my marriage stem from me having too much of a life outside of the family. For me, I think GAL is going to be me moving toward a life without my wife as my wife. I'm tired of feeling sad, hurt, and guilty for not being the husband I could be. I can't live in the past mistakes, only improve for the future.
I told my wife this morning that I'm open to seperation counseling and a "nesting seperation". This is where we get a seperate place and take turns living in the old family home with daughter. This gives us equal time with our daughter and does not make it look like one of us is the bad person or abondoning her. I think this is the most fair if she wants seperation. I'm sure she will discuss with her IC.
Not sure if this is in line with DB but basically I'm tired of waiting in limbo for her to push me out of the house, file, etc. I want to take back some control of my life and make it clear that I'm moving on with my life, with or without her. She's not going to be the one deciding everything.
