I am still DB'ing really. To me that means love yourself, be yourself, and give the same to others. How that looks for me is to listen and validate other people, try to really understand them, not belittling my W and accepting that her reality is different from mine, and to recognize my emotions and work on me. It's been hard to open up to her and move into a different realm where I am being vulnerable.
DB has sparked a lot of positive change for me. Cadet or Job had a post that has stuck with me for a long time that read "People don't change until the pain of changing is greater than the pain of staying the same". I believe it was in reference to a MLC person but that was me. I was a real PITA and not easy to get along with. It took this big life event to open my eyes. The pain has started to subside, the anger is still there, but now I watch my thoughts and am retraining my mind. That's DB.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
