Boy I hate counselors. I went to my IC yesterday # and she almost tried to convince me just to give up on my marriage.
Most traditional IC's and MC's are just divorce facilitators. You should look for a new IC that is more compatible with your interests.
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I feel like I just sit there and here over and over again a distorted version of our marriage and how she fell out of love with me. I know you guys recommend stopping MC, but do you have any advice for getting the most out of MC?
You're not going to get anything out of it. That stuff that you hate sitting there hearing is all you will ever hear as long as you keep going. This is your W's mindset now and it's not going to change for a long time, and definitely not until after you can remove all pressure from her, and MC is just another form of pressure. You've got to quit doing what YOU want (desperately trying to save the M) and start doing what SHE wants (give her time and space and quit pressuring her about the M). We always tell people not to drag a WAS into MC but they think they know better. They think it'll result in a miracle transformation, that their WAS will see the light and suddenly decide to work on the M. It just never happens. You need to save the MC for when she eventually has a change of heart, and you will know when she does.
