Got a life, now what?

[97Hope]

Ya'll it WAS a good night. And that's where I leave it. Had fun, enjoyed my old friend, don't know when/if I'm going to see him again. End of.

So something I found myself doing (for most of the M) was that I would temp check HIM and then respond (actually react) with what I thought was accordingly. But now (this was my #1 - 180) I check MY temp and respond (not react) according to ME. It's amazing and h as told me how attractive my happiness is and when I've had a bad day he has been comforting. I'm just honest as soon as I see him i.e. "I've had a rotten day, so I might be a little quite". He comes up and gives me a hug, asks if I want to talk (I've learned I need to process things before I talk to him so I usually say, "no, but thank you so much") This works for us because it's different then how I've handled my emotions in the past.


Expectations are only to be had for ourselves in our sitchs. IMO. When I keep them at zero for H I am only pleasantly surprised or not surprised at all.

H told me one day that he wasn't always moody because of me when I asked him if he was ok. I always like to think that it's about me lol but it isn't. Taking the pressure off of myself has been helpful.

Alison - I just read that about your H and eldest. Pre-over reacting has never been helpful for me and I could have earned a gold medal in it!! I've been reading a TON on reacting vs. responding. Super helpful in life not just in DBing. It's felt empowering not reacting all the time.