What I would like help with is input on whether to try and stay in the house together and continue to DB is better or separating. At this point I am accepting that it is her journey. She is not crossing any boundaries and I dont mind her being in the house as a roommate. If in the future I decide I dont want to stand I can ask her to move. But there have to be some downsides and I would like some input on that. One friend said separate houses is the best path to reconnecting but I am not sure.
It is very unusual for a couple to reconcile after BD while living under the same roof. Most recons don't happen until after a lengthy separation. As long as she remains under your roof as a roommate nothing is likely to ever change. You will be stuck like that indefinitely. I'm not saying to kick her out, that's your choice to make. Just trying to answer your question on what to expect.
Thank you! This is the feedback I was looking for. If things wont change with her as a roommate it gives me reasons to reduce the cake eating by asking her to share more expenses or other things even if I don't kick her out. I wanted to know this because when I make demands to reduce the cake eating she may pack up and leave herself and I wanted to be sure that her leaving was the right thing and not feel guilty that I messed up later.
I may still let her cake eat for the sake of the kids but I want to take steps to reduce the cake eating rather than stay with the status quo.
Any other feedback is appreciated since this is a hard step for me. Good news is once I take the step it will be another big step and there is no turning back or second guessing
