Brave Little Gerda Faces the Icy Game of Reason

[Rita]

H showed up again this morning, to get a package. I wasn't home and he called me, wildly angry when I said he couldn't come to the house unannounced. Not to mention that this morning the guys were showing up to demo a wall for a new door so I can start renting, and he kept sending me e-mails about how I couldn't alter his house without his permission so thank god he was gone before they came.

I was really scared of him. Not physically but just in my soul. It's hard to explain but somehow what I hate most about facing him is facing that he hates me and that he thinks things about me that aren't true. I am scared of having to face his vision of me, in a way.

I got a little frantic and did not stay calm. I didn't scream at him but I told him I would call the police if he came there and that I had paid him 5K to move out, and he shouted that he would call the police and it's his house, etc.

What I hate most is I do not want to be that woman who says those things or does those things. I feel like he is able to make me be the thing he thinks I am.