I still question whether my situation is different than a lot of people here. My wife and I get along very well together. We cook dinner with each other every night, and we talk a lot. But the BD did drop, and I don't see the R improving. So, I know that things aren't right. I bet all of us here drive ourselves crazy trying to convince ourselves that our situation is different. No matter what, I need to find happiness for myself. I will keep taking steps every day to do this. What a slog!
You are right, a lot of LBS's do think their sitch is unique and they use that as an excuse to do things they shouldn't (especially pursuit behavior). It is true that every sitch is unique in some ways, but by and large there are a lot of similarities and there's hardly ever a sitch where DB'ing doesn't apply or doesn't improve things with time.
My XW and I got along great after BD, to the point that I often wondered if BD was a fluke and she had changed her mind. We continued having sex, doing kid events together (sporting events and such), having meals together, etc. But every time I temp checked it was just a big slap in the face that nothing had changed for her and she was still full steam ahead on S and D. The only thing that helped delay it was when I STOPPED the temp checks!
