Three things I want to point out which I'm sure you see what is going on.
1.) She is using the kid to get your attention, and as leverage and emotional manipulation, whether it be for co-parenting reasons, or personal reasons. (Been experiencing this inconsistently for months.)
2.) Excellent response on "no I have plans" for taking son for two weekends. I have been going through these texts, hissy fits, arguments, miscommunications, last minute requests, guilt and shaming tactics by W if I can't take S1 according to her needs, deviating from our regularly planned custody schedule. I've gotten the "its your job as a father to equitably split the time" speech numerous times. I agree with W but on MY TERMS, with ADVANCED NOTICE UNLESS EMERGENCY. NOT LAST MINUTE EXPECTATIONS AND REQUESTS that suit her agenda and convenience. I do realize it's a two way street, but I'm not changing my plans or regular schedule anymore, unless it is communicated in writing and in advance, and if "I owe her" a few days as a courtesy for watching S1 because of me being away for work for a few days.
I have decided that I'm ignoring/blocking her number, not responding at all to ANY PHONE CALLS OR TEXT MESSAGES WHAT SO EVER unless emergency. Everything comes through email, both parties have to agree, and even then, I ignore them until and have given the terms and conditions considerable thought. I just don't want to get roped into getting emotional over circumstsnces or interaction anymore She still keeps inviting me to selective and convenient occasions as a co parent for sake of S1. In other words she wants me there with her and S1 when she doesn't have plans with other people. In her mind, it is her way of being a supportive co-parent and having our son see both parents together. I decided to nip that one in the bud too. I explained to her that I do not want to psychologically damage or confuse our son as he progresses in his development that Mommy and Daddy are together. It's too confusing on everyone so I insist on doing everything separate now.
3.) Your W is projecting onto you what she is currently experiencing and she is hoping that you are experiencing the same thing too. Isn't it funny how they get annoyed when you say no to them and they don't get their way? When they are the ones that wanted this all along. I think its fawking comical.
