Sorry for making it all about me!! I just type and let my thoughts fall out sometimes.
I know just what you mean about the abandonment stuff though. H gets that look too sometimes - and it usually is a prologue to some angry behaviour. I've tried just putting my arms around him and saying 'I'm here, I'm your friend, I know everything is awful right now but you're not on your own,' and it just seems to get him angrier. I think whatever it is that your H and my H needs right now, it isn't in our power to provide.
Good luck with your lunch today. I think if you're feeling resentful about the time on offer, and how he prioritises you, then it is good to express that and ask for some changes. Perhaps you can imagine that your H isn't your H at all, and just some man you were dating. Would you carry on with the dates as they stand? Would you push back a bit and negotiate something that worked better for you?
I wish you a lovely lunch, excellent GAL and a great trip away.
