No apology needed. I want honest feedback to knock sense into me given the emotions attached to this
Originally Posted by unchien
MLCxH -
What you describe does not sound like DB'ing. It sounds like cake eating.
My DB continues. I did not fight the D and I am detaching. This is a decision I am trying to make without emotions
Originally Posted by unchien
MLCxH -
She fired you as her H.
There is a difference between standing for your R, and letting your XW get her way by staying in the house and "playing family.".
I am not playing family with her. I am playing family with the kids. I get to see them everyday and will have very less time with them once she moves out
Originally Posted by unchien
MLCxH -
How does asking her to move mean you are not standing?
As I detach more I am less motivated to stand for the MR. If she moves out and I get used to less time with the kids I will likely move on with my life
Originally Posted by unchien
MLCxH -
I'm concerned you are falling into the emotional codependency trap of looking to your W to feel better about yourself. I'm fighting that fight myself.
Yes, there are emotions attached with saving the family but no emotions for W herself. It is a practical decision for me regarding kids and finances. I will be subletting the home to a roommate and I get to coparent. But I am still standing for the marriage for the kids so I want to figure out if this helps with reconnection or makes it worse. Just trying to learn from the vets experience so that I can make an informed decision
