OM Backed Out

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Ginger 1, DnJ, JujuB and joejoe1.

^^^ Lots of similarities in those user names. ^^^



Honestly, I think forgiveness is condoning. It's probably not, but that is just the way I feel. That's the way I've always felt.

I do think it is a choice. I'd like to hear your thoughts DnJ. Fire away.

Maybe it would be an easier "choice" to forgive with an apology. (I know, I'll most likely never get one.)

Yes Ginger1, she does still have a grip on my emotions...not like before and not always, but sometimes something will trigger the emotions.

Nice quote joejoe1. I'll let that sink in.

JujuB, I wouldn't say that I was necessarily angry....maybe disappointed, bitter, disgusted....not sure, but not really angry...not anymore anyways. And yes, her actions did make my life totally different from what I had planned and very difficult for a long time. Thankfully, things are better now. Not where I want to be, but I'll take it. Having said that, I do enjoy being single, but I do see what you are saying.

I sometimes think that maybe this is just what life is or what it is supposed to be - heartache, stress, worry, pain....I'm sure everyone has it to some extent. We are just the ones that happened to get our hearts broken. Stupid thought maybe, but that's how I feel sometimes.

I received a wonderful compliment from a lady friend/coworker yesterday. She said:

"You could be married right now if you really wanted to be. You're on point with so many things and have so many wonderful qualities Darrin."

Wow.

Funny thing is, I have absolutely no desire for marriage or even a relationship right now. As I've said, I just can't imagine ever having feelings for someone the way I felt towards XW. Maybe it will change, but if it doesn't, that's okay. Anyways, I thanked my friend. It was one of the nicest compliments that I've received in a very long time.

With the exception of triggers every now and then and getting fired up at the thought of meeting OM, I'm in a decent place. I spend a lot of time in nature and taking pictures. It's what I enjoy and do it whenever I can. They say that the MLCer becomes the exact opposite of what they used to be. Well, I think the same can be said for us too after we travel this road we are on. I used to be a pretty famous local radio celebrity who could be at a party every night if I wanted to be. Now, not so much. No thanks. I'm happy taking my pictures and being alone - the opposite of what I used to be, but....

I'm okay.

Tad