You are very wise, and it is okay not to be gentle. I think I've been through worse this year, and even this last week!
I can't stay where I am either. And what you are saying about Jesus chimes very closely with something my IC told me today. I am not Christian but I do have faith - and my IC is a spiritual director as well as a trained psychotherapist. She said that I'd put H in my heart in the place where God should be and that there would never be a good marriage or a happy aftermath of a divorce if I didn't take him out of that place. I agree. I don't know how to do it yet.
