I'm learning a lot from you 97Hope - including how when I thought I've been acting out of compassion, I've actually been acting out of guilt. I think it will take longer for me to heal and forgive myself, and when I do I will be better at protecting myself from behaviour that I need to learn, deep in my heart, that I don't deserve. I have a feeling the marriage I have, as it stands, only exists because he's angry and I'm guilty. When that dynamic is gone, what is left? I am afraid that there's nothing left, and that's another thing that's been preventing me having good boundaries. It is so so so difficult. I do feel like I am growing just reading your posts though, so keep it up. There's something good coming out of your troubles, at least - just a small thing - but I for one am grateful for it.
