Toto - Isn't this the worst? Fear of abandonment played out in reality?
Or is it the best? Because the only way through it is to dig deep and become a stronger, more resilient person? It is a gift - had our S's stuck with us through thick and thin, we'd keep playing out the FOA over and over and over again, never learning how to be truly happy on our own.
I'm going through the same struggles, different sitch but same struggles. Intently watching my W's moods, looking for signs of progress. You're going to cycle up and down, sometimes minute by minute.
To me the cycling is a grieving process, and I never know where I'll be minute by minute. Sometimes I feel:
- Angry: How could she do this? Why can she not see her role in things? Why can we not work it out? It would be so easy! - Depressed: How could she abandon me, the one person who I devoted my life to? This [censored]. How am I going to be a FT working single parent to 3 kids? I can't handle this!! - Acceptance: I feel strong. I feel ready to tackle this next phase of my life and embark on a new adventure!
I spend almost no time in Denial - there is no denying the sitch.
I spend almost no time Bargaining - there is no magic wand to wave here.
Day by day I feel like more time is spent in Acceptance.
