^^Great posts from Ginger and Dilly^^

Originally Posted by AlisonUK
He wasn't happy about that. A rant about how it was about Youngest's needs and not mine, and as I'd not been able to put Youngest first for our whole lives together, I might as well start doing it now, and I clearly just didn't want to see his family because I was embarrassed and ashamed that they knew our problems.


It just never ends, does it? Really sorry you have to deal with this Alison, seems like you can't have the simplest conversation with him without him shaming you, or blaming, or belittling, or in general doing anything he can to bring you down.

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I said it's nothing to do with that, and I told you what it was to do with, and this is my home and I am telling you what I need and what I can do.


Great response!

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I wish I'd never got into it with him.


You really can't win with him. He's an energy vampire, and they don't care whether it's positive or negative energy as long as they get something from you. Here's a blurb from a website about dealing with narcissists:

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There is nothing to be gained from negotiating, collaborating, or even corresponding at all, with an irrational, abusive person, and the sooner a person can embrace this fact, the better equipped she will be to live a happy, drama-free life.

Think about it.

Wouldn’t you rather put that energy into something beautiful, positive, and productive, like spending time with people who see you, listen to you, and respect your boundaries?


So with that in mind, I understand this party is for your S but you should seriously consider not inviting your H. I am dead serious about this, it's time to cut his abusive, pathetic, narcissistic ass our of your life. He wants to have a party with S then that's fine and dandy, he can set up his own separate from yours. Tell him you do not want to hear from him at all unless it's strictly business regarding kid visitation.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57