I will comment later. On lunch, I can relate to all of you. Simply put guys, its like this, maybe not immediately, but eventually you will get so fed up of the compulsive thinking, the worrying, the emotional instability, the limbo, the moving, the petty arguments and perception differences, the petty division of lifestyles, difference differences in thinking, justifying, etc, that you eventually will have no more Fu@k$ left to give. You will slowly start to regain your sense of self doing things independently by yourself and for yourself, you will change for yourself and your thinking will change too and you will be happier for it because you're not constantly feeling all these emotional inconsistencies. This in its essence is dropping the rope. You won't care what she does what she thinks or how she perceives you.
You will eventually stop dwelling on the past, letting go of guilt and regrets, pick your @$$ up by the boot straps, and keep moving forward with logic on what is right for you. Emotions and feelings will occasionally resurface and you will have to deal with them process them and then turn off. Not push it down but turn it off and get back to current reality.
It is almost as if the only way to reattract them is by accident. You no longer matter to them, so they no longer matter to you. There is absolutely nothing you can do to convince, talk them through it, or change their minds they have to do it for them for what they see and what they value or what they don't value. Let them go and start planning your life and your future. All the manipulatuve BS that they impose in us, and don't even realize they're doing it, using children as leverage, cake eating, Tit for Tat tectonic thinking, trying to play family when separated. Its not worth the stress or the emotional discontention. Cut them lose. Trust me you will feel much better when you start negotiating I'm taking actions on things on your own terms.
According to everyone here they most likely will not see their regrets until years later, and by then the LBS has already walked away. Give them their space in their freedom and open the cage door and let them go. We all deserve a life where someone wants us whether it is W or some one else.
