I know that this goes against the DB philosophy, but I need to do this to re-attract my wife. On the other hand, it is a pretty good GAL activity.
That's OK, you don't just flip a switch and are suddenly doing everything for you rather than your W. It's more like a rheostat that you slowly turn up over time. We mention a lot to be patient with your W, but it's just as important to be patient with yourself.
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I know I shouldn't be doing this for her, and in part I am just doing it for myself. But I know in my heart that she is my motivation. But I am focused on making myself the motivation. I need to love me. I need to find me again. I need to care about me.
Yes exactly. BD is one heck of a blow to one's self-esteem. It takes a while to build that back up again.
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I have been listening to and reading a lot of marriage help books. Boy, do I regret not reading these before the BD. Now, I just cry over what I should have done.
It's normal to go through a "regret" phase. At the end of the day you will be better prepared for your next R though, whether it's with your W or someone else. The LBS's here usually emerge a much stronger, more independent person with clearer values and more sensitivity to their partner's needs. The WAS? Yeah not so much.
