I’m in the same boat as tad. I know that being angry is bad for me. That anger is bad for my body and soul. But I can’t help it. I am not at that state of indifference. I don’t feel like it’s a conscious choice to be angry. Maybe there is consciousness in saying “hey think of something else. these thoughts are bothering you” but my ex”s actions really made my current life difficult. Every day, I’m confronted with it because of my son and financial situation. And when he shows up late in his black Mercedes with red interior it’s just a huge slap in the face of all that missing money. And the way I contributed in our relationship and thus lost my money to him.
I try so hard to raise my son to be a kind hearted and responsible member of society. But then I think, hey maybe I am doing him a disservice by doing so. It’s the responsible and loyal people that get screwed in the end.
It might just be a time issue. Post traumatic stress is a factor. Betrayal and financial rape is pretty traumatic. Or perhaps it’s the current state of our lives. Or maybe becoming more zen like and learning to accept and be appreciative of our current states. I don’t know the answer, only that it’s easy to logically understand letting go of anger but hard to actually do so.
