Not much is new. Yesterday was a bit tough. I dropped my girls off at XW's house after spending 10 days with them. We had a great time. We did a lot of fishing and caught a bunch of big fish. It was the type of week that will get the girls hooked on fishing for the rest of their lives.
XW had gotten her hair done. She has kept the 20 pounds or so off that she lost right after BD. Quite honestly, she looks phenomenal. She's about as hot as a 42-year-old woman can get, but at least I got her in her prime. Doubly tough was that it was the 18th anniversary of our first date. I do wonder if she realized it, but I'm guessing she did. She's always been quite aware of those things.
We've been cordial. I've decided that I'm okay with that. Not to get her back, but I want's best for my girls. I did ask my older daughter if they have been going to church lately. She said they have. If so, XW would have been at the service that basically said divorce should be the last resort. Looking back, my XW did seem pretty emotional when I talked to her a couple of weeks ago after the sermon. I think she has too much pride to seek reconciliation, but my guess is that she has some regret. I know it's too much focus on my XW, but I'm not going to beat myself up. These milestones are tough.
I did get approved for a mortgage loan without having to close on the house in the other state, so I'm that much closer to finding a permanent place for the girls and I. I will be looking at some houses with the girls this weekend. If I find something I like, I will make an offer.
My younger daughter has been very emotional, and I do wonder if this situation has taken a larger toll on her than what I thought. I've realized that being stern with her right now is not the best approach. She needs me to be understanding and validating.
I will be meeting one of the gals (the 37-year-old) I've been texting this weekend. I think she's fallen for me. I'm not sure I'm ready for something serious, but I decided I will be honest with her. My nice guy syndrome is still there. I don't want to break her heart, if I'm not ready. If she's okay with taking it slow, we'll see where it goes.
Doubly tough was that it was the 18th anniversary of our first date. I do wonder if she realized it, but I'm guessing she did. She's always been quite aware of those things.