So so new to this :(

[peacetoday]

I also agree with everyone
The kids should be allowed to decline an invitation to meet OW

and again I would stall as long as possible creating space for everyone to heal-

I would ask the L for help on this especially if you see any of your kids stressing over this
ask the L how you can word it so your H is more willing to agree
The kids well being has to come before anything about him


No blame maybe start with a positive..
Then ask for time for all the kids to adjust and heal-
maybe ask them if they want some counseling and perhaps a counselor can help them directly express to their dad
their limits..so you can be involved at a distance
some counseling may help them so much if they are willing


But until a counselor is in place, and it is agreed by everyone,,,I would stall and let him know later when a good meeting time for OW might be



This becomes a business deal from now on-
He will be co-habituating with OW outside the M while still M
and DNJ is right--they lose interest int he kids over time
they want freedom, instant gratification and fun
they can no longer be good parents as you can see- and they get worse
so because of the ages of your kids..
I would fight for whats best
neither he or the OW will care about anything but themselves


I don't know how strong minded you H is or if he will blame you when you set boundries or if he will provoke a huge fight

I would prepare for anything and stay steady, brief and to the point