Growing Pains(LB55 thread 4)

[LB55]

Forgot to mention that W also texted me that “I really liked the listening conversation” and “let’s sit down in chairs next time instead of standing in the driveway”. I agreed with both statements. Progress is nice to see. Small steps.

Awesome! DB'ing is all about baby steps!

She asked for a code word that either of us can have to say when we are feeling too emotional to hear each other’s words and end the conversation without reprisal or hard feelings. I think this is acceptable so long as the road goes both ways and the conversation can resume at a later time and date. Thoughts?

That's kind of an odd request. Is she in IC? Maybe it's something her IC suggested. I don't see the harm but if you stick to that quality validating then neither of you should ever need to use it.

She tells me she is in IC. I have no reason to doubt it. Perhaps her IC suggested it; hard to say.

I’ll keep doing my thing, and like you say, we shouldn’t need to use it.

I see it as a way for her to have her suggestion heard, used, and increase her ownership of the process for something that really doesn’t hurt me in any way or increase my responsibility in the situation. This could increase her trust and that’s a big deal right now.

The cat is paying attention to me, have to build trust without scaring it away.