I believe they call what he is doing is gaslighting
Oh yes, he is absolutely gaslighting her and has been for quite some time! I think the term I was looking for (regarding the specific example she mentioned up above) is "love bombing" though, where the narcissist says "Oh things were going so well but now look at what you've done, you ruined it all." Here's a description of love bombing:
"Love bombing is the reinforcement, where the abuser showers the victim with love if the victim acts how they want.
If the victim doesn't, then the devaluation stage happens, where they withdraw all their kindness and instead punish the victim with whatever they feel is appropriate — shouting, giving them the silent treatment, or even physically abusing them."
