That part from your H telling you that things had been going well and that if you hadn't done XYZ he;d have come back reminds me a lot of what my H said in our last R conversation. It's just like you told me on my thread, Alison; that you can't win with someone who is not committed to the marriage and doesn't give you the benefit of the doubt.
You sound like you are in a good place, moving forward with tasks that need dealing with to make you feel the way you want to feel in your life. As so many people here have told me, there is no reason you have to figure out if you want to divorce or not in this moment. The other things you are focusing on are big, and important, and enough to think about for right now.
