I'm curious about your diagnosis of your ex as NPD. Was that diagnosis made by a professional? Do you see that behavior throughout your entire marriage? Or is that just your way of rationalizing her behavior during her affair?
I ask because it can be a mistake to diagnose someone when they are in crisis - many MLCers LOOK like they have a serious psych diagnosis but never manifested before and return to normal once their crisis is resolved. On the other hand, some of us cannot see the dysfunction in our spouses until we have some distance - it took some time after my separation for me to see clearly that my ex was and always had been a bit of a narcissist and that was informing his actions during our marriage as well as after our divorce.
You've moved on very quickly to a new relationship and if your ex truly has always been NPD that may be fine, I understand the relief, but you should be careful that you don't overlook red flags in your hurry to be re-coupled.
