Basically telling you that things were going the right direction and if only you hadn't have screwed it up he would have been ready to go all-in again. It's complete bullshit of course, he was no closer to coming back then at any other time since BD. But he's trying to control and manipulate you into not challenging him again by dangling the carrot of hope out there. He's STILL abusing you!
Yes, I think you're absolutely correct. He's either in a blind panic and pulling out all the stops to get me back in line, or he genuinely thought that the way things were over the past month or so was nice. Well, perhaps it was nice for him. It was not nice for me and that matters more right now. I suspect blind panic is what is happening, which is why I am staying away from him because if I know him like I think I do, it will get worse before it gets better and he realises I am not messing about.
Dilly - yes, I have decided, on balance, to go and see solicitor and discuss options before putting anything to DH. I am secure in the house, secure financially, and there is an option that I can refuse to release any equity at all and get child maintenance from him until the Youngest is 18 - then we'd sell and he'd get a fair proportion of what the house was worth when he stopped paying the mortgage. So even in the worst case scenario - I have to buy him out this year, and he gets 50% - I can financially cope and it's fine. He has no cards to play on this one. But there may be things I haven't foreseen. I have a good pension and he doesn't, after being at home or in education all that time - and I do want to be fair. His being a SAHD counts, and it matters. Will continue gathering information and get a solicitor's appointment asap.
As for divorce. I don't know. I've had a look at the paperwork and i could do it on unreasonable behaviour very easily. If we could sort out house and child-maintenance I imagine it could be over with relatively quickly. More likely he will stall and make things difficult and I don't care so much about it this second as to put myself through that. I am angry with him and I want to protect myself, but I do love him and there is still a bit of me that has hope he will do what it takes. I hope that bit of me dies a death soon, but only time and distance will achieve that.
