Am I doing this right??

[ovrrnbw]

Goddess,

if you're going NC, then going to lunch with him and the kids seems strange. What was the reason you wanted to go NC in the first place?

I think if you go NC, try to send the kids out when he gets there. I wouldn't even want to see him. You don't have to go NC for any reason other than to protect yourself IMO. So do it when you have to and then if you're ready for small communication then you cease NC. But inconsistency is no good IMO.