Or I have missed something here? Your second paragraph is rather confusing to me. Are you saying that she said it's over but now your emotions are building more towards her? I don't get it. She is still there tho. Has she said again that she is done and out? I don't tend to believe what she says because she hasn't been honest and changes her mind. Or can you just tell because she is becoming indifferent?
She did say it was over and that she was trying to show me by being on her phone and doing thing in front of me. And yes, I'd say my emotions are building, but not much, towards her.
Adam, I don't think you're being foolish by creating the safe environment for her. Everyone wants to feel safe, like they can let their guard down. Her being a distancer means you may require more patience. Any chance your W isn't lying? These sitches make us so adversarial, and we don't realize to what extent either.
I need to post my own thread more often. There's a bit of dread in doing so. Things have been fine. W staying at home, we're going out and doing things together. Had a good holiday weekend.
W is pushing forward with the business we were discussing pre-BD, a wedding venue. Isn't that funny? I jumped on board for a few reasons. One being more money for us and another being that her parents were already going to back her financially anyways. I can't stop this train so I might as well make the best of it. She did sign on my financing deal for my business back in December.
Overall I've been fine, going to IC every week and working on my issues. There's plenty. Trying to be a driven, hard working, passionate person who isn't high strung and super critical. I'm also dealing with my family issues that probably got me in this state of mind in the first place. I've been having a lot of dreams about my brother - I'm an identical twin. My brother and my dad are a source of a lot of conflict in my life.
I'm also working on being a better partner - listening (putting down my phone or book), trying to make sure I understand, and then responding not to fix the situation. I've been trying to reread the detachment and validation threads and maybe I need to read some more relationship books too. Some of my 180s have been to be more pleasant to be around, to listen, to do the things the important people in my life ask of my with a positive attitude. Those have been going well.
Should I post on my thread more often? I really don't know. I hate to feel like I'm avoiding but sometimes I don't know what to say. Thanks everyone.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
