I showed her something online about Retrouvaille and she is on board to go. She showed some concern about the religious part because she didn't want to feel judged by Christians for not being a devout Catholic. She kept reading and later felt at ease.
Great! My XW is Catholic but I am not. Not once did I feel the least bit uncomfortable about not being Catholic. The program is hosted by the Catholic Church and there is some praying involved but the focus is on communication skills and not religion.
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W has said she wants to work the marriage out and go to counseling. W will get the medical records for her birth control pills she is taking to reduce the cyst she has. She said she has put the find me app back on. She has given me her code to the phone and gave me the phone to install the camera app to the house on her phone and also on mine. She had all her passwords up to all the apps and emails and didn't mind me looking or knowing them. She communicates more her daily and weekly schedule.
These are really, really good signs Adam! This is very consistent with the behavior of someone that has turned around and is all-in on making it work.
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My W told me what helped her change her mind was seeing how serious I was about changing and she realized I must have been getting some help. I think part of it too was seeing my life going on without her and me and the boys were fine. Along with that was my attitude. I didn't let it get me down around her or other people. Not around her family and siblings. My Sister in law was saying she was there for me and asked about us, her sister and me. She was saying she'd always be there for the kids to help. My head space with them wasn't running for support. It was to say I'm okay with whatever happens to us. I love her sister but I'm not going to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me and I'm not going to try and force anything on anyone. The few times I did talk to the in laws, it was express life was going on and its good. It wasn't about saying negative things about the W or trying to get them to take sides.
Awesome, you're describing model DB'ing right there
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W has said a couple of times she loves me but this was out of old habits like right after doing something. We tried to take it slow but after 2 nights of sleeping in the same bed in the master bed room, she initiated the physical contact and its been a green light ever since. We've been more intimate. We both have been enjoying our time together. Did I mention she no longer reads those romance novels? More of that focus is in the bedroom. We do tell each other we love things about each other.
Fantastic!
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My feelings are still guarded and I keep thinking W hasn't "come clean" about the past and I'm wondering if I am making a mistake to move forward the way I am.
Totally normal to feel that way, Steve did as well and I think still struggles with it a little.
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Am I crazy for taking her back too easily? MY W said she knows its tough and still swears she hasn't cheated on me. I feel there is more that she hasn't said.
Look at it as a work-in-progress. Go to Retro, that will help a lot. If you stick with it and work on the exercises together you'll both have much better insight into what the other is thinking and feeling.
