I am so glad you are not going to continue to his bashing and cruelty. When he starts, remove yourself. He’s out of control now.
Here is my opinion on how to handle this situation. First, you have got to go dark. I rarely see it spoken of anymore, but it’s been pretty key sine I’ve been on these boards for 11 years. Your only communication is about necessary kids topics. You don’t discuss anything personal, relationship wise or otherwise. It’s for you. His counselor talk, you getting a book? All this. He is a big boy, he can do it if he wants. Talk means nothing until there is action. And I think any of this right now is more to say he “tried” everything and it didn’t work, so he could just walk away. He is in no place for marriage counseling and if you were to do that now, it would ruin chances of reconciliation more right now.
As far as the house, say nothing. If you mean this and you are ready to do this , and it isn’t a scare tactic of reality to him, do it right. Sit down with a lawyer and learn what the best options are and do it through the lawyer. You can’t work anything out like this with him right now.
What this marriage needs more than anything now is space. Don’t find reasons to communicate. Don’t talk about anything) unless kids) you live your life, let him sit in his reality and realize you aren’t to blame for all his issues.
It’s you tome, girl, save yourself before the marriage and go into a divorce with a clear mostly detached head when making house dealings.
