The Confirmation is important to my daughter but at the same time she's still angry with her dad as they found out about the OW just a week ago, so I think even though it's sad he's missing the party, I think it's good to give her the time she needs away from him.
Peacetoday, I think what you wrote about mlc, does really apply to my husband, sighs...
The kids (S10 and D12) were supposed to go to H today, last night D12 told me she doesn't want to go, because she's still upset with him about the OW. At the same time she said that she doesn't want him to know that this is the reason she doesn't want to go there. She doesn't want to talk about this with him.
She said that she's worried that he will be sad or angry with her (poor thing considering her fathers feelings, when he clearly isn't considering anyones feelings) I told her that her thinking like that does show compassion and maturity but that she is not responsible for her fathers feelings. And shouldn't worry about them. He will love her, whether she goes to his house or not. And if she needs time to be ok with this OW, she can take all the time she needs. She then told me that H had told her that she's not allowed to be mean to the OW?!? My S told me the same thing last week. So in my D mind he's already taking her side against them.
I told D that she can be herself around the OW. Just like she is with me, with our Au pair, with her dad. She's allowed to show her feelings, the OW knew what she was getting into.
So my question is, what do I say to H about D not wanting to go to his house? Do I tell him the truth and tell him to give her the spance she needs? Or do I lie for her? (I personally think the truth is the way to go)
And how do I tell him that he can't tell the kids that they can't be mean to the OW? They are allowed to be whatever they are, they're children, if she can't handle it, she should have thought about it a bit earlier.
On BD Me 39 H44 D14 D12 S10 M19 T19 BD 3/19 Separation 3/19 H filed for D 4/19
