Brave Little Gerda Faces the Icy Game of Reason

[Rita]

HaWho, your notes are always really special to me because our situations were so similar.

I told my best friend what you said and she just loved the last line about looking back and being amazed. I think I have no idea what I am living through on some level.

I was starting to feel a little peaceful today, met with another guy about the changes I have to make to start renting and was even feeling a little excited about the changes as I love fixing houses up, and then H sent an e-mail, as he does, to my lawyer, his lawyer and me. Lots of demands and posturing and saying how he was going to come and prepare the house for the appraisal and how he would be back on Sept 30 (our agreement was an interim agreement) if I didn't settle.

I get so scared of him, it's weird. I was practically hyperventilating when I got that letter. But it's the very same fear I had of my mom, who I am sure now had an MLC. I basically am experiencing everything as a wife from H that I experienced as a teen girl from my mom. So I am sure that there is a wound there that I need to heal, if ever I figure it out. I know that I have God in my life now, and that changes a lot. But the wound is deep and I feel like I never get a chance to heal it.

Job, I think I have some inklings of how you healed, sort of. And I know how DnJ did. But how did you heal, HaWho? And anyone else here who feels healed? So far all I can think is that this is still horrible and heartbreaking but it's way less horrible than him living here.