Growing Pains(LB55 thread 4)

[LB55]

Dilly,

You are spot on that someone has to stop the invalidation cycle. I’ve determined it is going to be me in my situation. I’m the one that is determined to improve myself. W can do what she wants. If I can practice and work on my validation skills with her, it will be simple to use them on more reasonable folks! Folks where one little slip doesn’t send you spiraling backwards into the ice age of your relationship every time.

I disagree that your partner must eventually get on the bandwagon. They might or might not. That’s not up to you. It’s your bandwagon, ride tall! If you choose to stay with them even though they don’t validate your feelings, that’s your choice. Expecting them to eventually get it and return the gift is doomed to failure and will result in more pain and suffering. Give them your validation gift if you choose, just don’t expect one in return. Accept them for who they are or it’s time to move on.

This is a nice discussion we have going on here. Thanks to everyone for chipping in! Wasn’t expecting my thread to take this turn, but it’s a welcome addition. A good topic of discussion for anyone!