I was just telling my best friend all about the conversation I had with my H. She said it sounds like he is trying to blame his confusion on me. I think she is completely right. He is trying to make it out that I have been inconsistent, inauthentic and dishonest, and none of that is true. He says I’m too emotional, but then I wasn’t emotional enough during our precious marriage talk. He wishes I’d told him my feelings sooner, but when I do he says he doesn’t believe my words. As you said Alison, he is only allowing himself to see me through a negative lens, in which I’m not being loving or authentic or vulnerable, because if he admits that I AM being all of those things then he is out of excuses for what he is doing. I have done everything I could do, including being extremely patient for a long time. He wants there to be something that I’M doing or not doing that is causing his inability to make a move. He wants his confusion and inner conflict to my fault. But I have not been confusing or dishonest or inauthentic or cold. I’ve been consistent and clear and honest and vulnerable on multiple occasions. I keep thinking that he wants a reason to turn back toward me and our marriage, but now I’m wondering if it’s just the opposite. Perhaps he wants a reason to continue not to. It’s a heart breaking possibility, and one I will never understand. I feel like I need to do LRT at this point. I’m a little confused by it though, because when i read what it consists of, I feel like I’ve already been doing it...?
