Yes Ben, we've all been there. We like to day around here that when you're in doubt about what to do, doing nothing is the best course. In fact, it helped me to understand that doing nothing is doing something!!
As far as MC, just let the C lead. MC should be a safe space where you can share openly. Not sure if others will agree or not but I think you should share your thoughts and feelings there. But then leave that all there and do not do that or if MC. MC should be done very carefully in our sitches. I did it during mine. But like I tell people the first couple of months was more like IC for each of us with the other one there. We typically tell LBSs not to do MC until their spouse is all in and committed to working on the marriage. So feel free to pull the plug Ben if you feel she's just going through the motions.
If you comes to that you can say "MC isn't really working for me, so I think we should stop going. However, I have a lot to work on so I'm going to start IC."
Temper expectations. Most WASs agree to MC son that they can claim they tried everything.
Thank you Steve,
That´s a good thing to keep in mind. When in doubt, do nothing.
I was worried that she might be going only to claim she´s tried everything but she really seems interested in going each time. She even told the therapist that she wants a session once a week instead of every other week because she feels it´s needed and that it helps. Now that I suggested a different form of therapy, she seemed happy about that as well. We´ve been to 7 sessions in the last two months now. But you´re right, I don´t have any expectations that these will lead to a breakthrough. They are helping me for now though.
I´ll see how the Monday session goes with the new therapist and come back for an update then.
Have a great weekend
Me: 38 Stbxw: 35 No kids Mini bd: February 6, 2019 ONS confirmed Sept 7, 2019 Told her to move out: September 8, 2019 W moved out: September 28, 2019 Divorce filed by me: September 23, 2019
