Growing Pains(LB55 thread 4)

[LB55]

That is very impressive. Being on the receiving end of an R talk is the hardest thing to deal with, I've found. To listen and validate for an hour is amazing. Well done. Taking notes here, I like the bit about reducing defensiveness, something I struggle with internally even though I've got it sorted externally. Mad DBing skills there LB!

It is tough. Thanks for the positive feedback.

I’ve committed in my head to giving this the best shot I can. I’ve dropped my anger for the most part, of don’t ruminate on the events of the past, and I’m working to see the good side of her.

She can still leave. I will be ok with that. I won’t be ok with me not trying. I’m getting better at these skills for me, not for her. The difference is I’ve decided to use them instead of a relatively cold indifference. So we will see how it plays out.

I’m open to working on this, I will continue to show that but won’t be saying that to her anytime soon. We have to be able to talk before any of that could start to happen. So for now I listen like I’ve never done before.

Non defensive listening. Google it. Look for the article by Gottman. It’s good stuff, at least for me.