That is hugely impressive. I remember listening to H rant for an hour or so earlier on in our situation - about his anger and blame and resentment. I think at the time I thought I was validating his feelings (and I believe I did make some good validating statements) but I also was told here - which I accept - I was enabling his verbal abuse. I still struggle with where to draw the line when it comes to listening to feelings I find challenging or perceptions of events that don't agree with and out and out verbal abuse, but I am getting better at it. I think it's fine to have a boundary of how MUCH validating you will do in any one session. If an hour is fine for you - great - but perhaps thinking of a way to get out of a conversation like that when you've had enough would also be useful (I wish I'd have been able to perfect this). You're not a bottomless bit of patience and your needs are important too. It's also very hard to listen to someone's feelings when they have little or no interest in or respect of yours. I understand that validation might be a one way street for a good while in many of our situations, but it's also been useful for me to think about how much validation I am willing to 'spend' without getting any back...
