Thanks 97Hope. My main problems come when I think about the future, so I just try not to think about it. It's my 25th wedding anniversary next month and my birthday, both very, very difficult for me to think about. Part of me wants to book some kind of holiday spanning the two dates (they're in the same week) so I have something planned for them. Though so far I've survived H's birthday and mother's day and they were both ok considering. My birthday can't be worse than last year (pre BD) when H went away and forgot my birthday entirely. I should have worked out something was up then, I feel so stupid at missing so many signs. One day I even saw he had a look of pain on his face but I was too scared to ask him what was going on, and I figured he was going through a hard time but didn't connect it with our M. I still don't know how much of it is his MLC and how much is our M. Maybe they're too hard to tease apart for him.
Anyway, thanks for the pep talk, you're right to focus on just living day by day and trying to get the most out of it. I've had a nice long weekend away actually, met up with a friend for a run and coffee this morning which was nice. Rearranged the walk with H to later tomorrow due to teen movements, weirdly we had lots of texting between H and I last night, quite friendly. Lots of GAL stuff lined up for next week seeing friends and then off to Europe on Friday, hooray!
