No LH I haven't filed yet. Obviously and unfortunately my thoughts of my emotions are still ruling me. I go back and forth with it from week to week. I think some of my words are being misconstrued t online cuz I'm not presenting it in person in the right context. but you're right some of my statements do sound derogatory and contradicting and crazy. You're right her business isn't my business anymore and I know that I make sure of that. Doesn't mean I don't have feelings about it. This is about me letting go of control. This is about me letting go of the past. This is about me being in limbo and developing my future and not having the patience, or the stability make that happen. I guess I have all this internal conflict because a part of me knows that I need to move forward and a part of me still has to let go of the past. Just when I thought I let it go for a few weeks of creeps back in. I know the compulsive thinking is a waste of time what's my way of reminding myself what I need to learn, and then the emotions come up from it as a result.
Let me ask you this question LH 19? If people aren't meant for 1 another which does happen in marriages and the reason why people get divorced? Then why is it that there was enough attraction there in the beginning to get married in the first place? Why did that some marriages make it between 7 years and 25 years before divorce? I mean I understand people grow apart for different reasons? Whether it be incompatibility or or someone going through depression or a midlife crisis, cheating WW, whatever? Pick your one of a thousand reasons. Then what the hell is the point of the institution of marriage and what the hell is the point of having marriage vows? Marriage comes in many forms today in our Western Society some deem it as holy others deem it as legal some deem as emotional, some considerate societal. Marriage means many different things for many people. I think the legal aspects should be considerably revampt in our Western culture. You can say what you want about my thoughts but a man in America going through a divorce has too much to lose and a woman has too much to gain,. there is an imbalance there. It does happen but very seldom do you see men having full custody of their children and receiving child support and alimony. If a woman walks away from a marriage that's legally binding she shouldn't receive anything, unless there is a history and proof of abuse. If a man walks away from a marriage or has a documented history of abuse and neglect that should be obligatory for him to pay child support and alimony. I would love to see what happened if we eliminated the family courts altogether and just put this into a civil court, where proper restitution and punitive damages can equally go both ways, man or woman.
as far as me taking hours at a time to not only event on here but help out other people going through this I really do empathise with them. I know I'm in the middle of my situation and I can barely help myself but I want to help them and it feels good not being alone, that we all can share our experiences and learn from them. We are all here for three reasons. to save ourselves, to gain knowledge and learn from our mistakes and grow, and to potentially save our marriages.
I just turned my own personal posts into venting sessions because I have no one else to talk to about this. I mean I can talk to my family about it, but the thoughts and emotions build up and I just have to do something with him so I Journal them on here. Right wrong or indifferent. some days are better than others until I get all the way through the other side just like everybody else on here.
