^^^YES I really agree with what Ginger said. Surely you knew this attempt to "nice" him back was going to fail miserably, the outcome was very predictable. Maybe you needed one last rejection to finally let him go, I'm not sure. But you really do need to let him go, this relationship has been TOXIC for so long and is going to destroy you if you continue this routine of pushing him away and trying to pull him back in again. Just let him go and move on, you need to do it for you and especially for the kids. I'm not saying there's no chance for recon in the future but he really needs to own his crap first and he's nowhere close to doing that.
