Thanks for the ideas Cadet! I guess I am still trying to GAL to impress my wife to win back her love. That is always my focus, and I know that is the wrong idea.
I have a question for you guys. How common is it for a WW to be both a walk away spouse and having a midlife crisis. I feel like her midlife crisis in some ways is causing her to create a new narrative of being unhappy for so long in our marriage. I know she has been depressed at being a SAHM, but I didn't think she was unhappy with me and our marriage. Now she makes it sound like I have never been a partner. This crushes me.
Journaling:
I pray everyday that God will open my wife's heart to my love and that I have the wisdom and discipline to do what I can to win her back. I am trying to convince myself that I can't control any of this. I try to turn everything over to God, but I struggle every day to do this. God please let me turn this over to you. Please let me feel your love and presence. I want so bad to feel your arms wrapped around me like a loving father.
I need to be honest with this forum that I am not sure that it is within my personality to successfully DB. I am trying, but it goes completely against my nature. I am not sure I can detach, GAL and live my life for me. But, I think that being here and knowing that I need to be focusing on this is a good first step. For now, I will try to muddle through this working with the knowledge I am gaining here and knowing who I am and what I can do.
It is so hard for me not to pursue. My pastor is a strong believer in the 5 Love Languages book, and I am trying to speak to my wife in her love language, acts of service. I feel like this is totally against what DBing is all about, but like I said I am muddling through trying to figure all of this out.
I have learned that I need to stop pursuing. I need to stop saying I love you. I need to stop putting pressure on my wife. Every time I do this, I can sense that it pulls her further away from me. It is just so tough because we are living together, and except for marriage counseling, acting as if we have a normal family. We are sleeping in the same bed, but she rarely touches me. I feel like she is both a walk away spouse and having a midlife crisis.
