You know what, I don't think it actually makes that much difference whether he's having an A or not. As people keep telling me, he's being deceitful. And if he's not having an A, it's because he is pouring so much of himself into work and wine that there's nothing left over for any R. So he has chosen someone or something else other than his family, that much is clear. And he's unhappy and has been for a long time (that's not him rewriting history, that's me honestly assessing his behaviour over some years now). And I need to leave him be so he can see that I'm not the cause of his unhappiness. And you're right that I'm so scared of doing that. I really hope this trip helps me to detach a bit, I'm in a bit of a dark place right now. The hormones definitely don't help here, I'm so sick of feeling sore all the time.
