I can help you man. I'm in the same sitch. Pleasant wife.... throws you way off-guard because you're expecting all the heavy stuff. Leaves you in limbo.
You can't force it, you can't rush it..... you're going to make yourself crazy. Give her all the space she could possibly need, and then give her some more.
Yes, you have to wait... and wait... and wait. You get to lead her later, not now. Now you need to endure. It really is that simple.... and improve yourself. That's how you lead. Get better so she sees it and wants to get better too. Stimulate those neurons in her brain!!! "What is he doing? Looks like he's having fun. Look at that body." Get my drift? She likes the silent treatment, but her eyes are still looking around. Let them see good things.
What are you doing to improve (this isn't a trick question)? How are you focusing your thoughts and time? She can always go back into Replay, either part or full. That isn't unusual.
It's very obvious you're cycling hard. That's ok...... but it shows that more detachment is needed. I'm just like you. Nice wife (except R talks - no more of those.... NONE!!!), sleep in same bed, eat together... all that. Detachment is possible and more importantly.... very necessary. You can do it!!!!
Understand too, you have something wonderful... a MLC wife who hasn't run away. You still have a connection. You can see observe what's happening first hand. I'm blessed with that too. It is a double edged sword.... it is harder (IMO) than one that has left. She still may (mine still may).
Just look at the glass as half full, be thank full for what you've been blessed with. Stay the course.
You're going to get thru, that it will be awhile. Use the time wisely. Don't be tempted to talk. I know you'd love it, I'd love it.... wouldn't it be grand? Someday. Not today, not tomorrow.
