I took the advice given and consulted with an attorney (my wife does not know this). He said it was ok to move out of the house if I had to, better to do it that way rather then forcing her to file and try to get a court order for me to move. Also got a better idea of how the divorce would proceed if amicable.
I also had a phone consult with DB coach Lani, I purchased 3. Most of time was spent with me getting her up to speed. She thinks my wife is potentially depressed, having a minor MLC, peri-minipausual or some combination of all 3. There is also a minor emotional affair blossoming with someone in her work industry that isn't helping. Lani's advice is to stay in the house if at all possible and give her space while treating her like an appreciated houseguest. That's pretty much what I've been doing. I plan to have another consult next week.
Wife and I had an interesting conversation last night as she was going to bed. She asked if "we were still friends". She said that she knows I'm angry and she's worried that I'm going to file some sort of papers to undermine the divorce and/or custody. I wanted to scream at her "you are the one that wants a divorce, WTF would I file and get the ball rolling" but I remained calm and validated. I admitted that I am angry but that is overshadowed by the hurt and sadness that she has given up on our marriage. I told her that I need to work on myself and improve. She said that she's noticed how I've stepped up as a father and that is what she always wanted. She also said that I'm a great guy with so much to offer and I will be able to make someone else very happy. There was a little more to the conversation but I think those are the important points. Very hard to remember everything as I've slept so poorly since BD 2.5 weeks ago and I'm exausted.
So no real progress, we'll see how the weekend goes. I expect we will end up doing seperate activites this weekend with our daughter and she will bring up me moving out again. If I end up moving out I suspect I'll have to go full up LRT but hope to get some more insight from my DB coach if/when it comes to that.
