I asked what she wanted moving forwards and the response was "I don't know". I said "fair enough" and went up to bed. For someone who was so dead set on D 5 months ago things really seem to be stalled and "I don't know" is running rampant. Not sure if she is waiting for things to just fall into place magically so she can move on or if perhaps she is starting to have second thoughts. Either way I need to remain extra cautious now it seems and really double down on DB'ing.
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8 month update:
Life is going great, I am great personally, work is going well, the kids are doing well everything about my new bachelor life is actually quite fabulous. The only down side to things these days is the house situation and not having my own place to really call home. Currently we are going back and forth between the house on our days with the kids and friends places on the off days. Living out of a suitcase is no fun at all and this scenario actually seems to cause more negatives for the kids then positives. So lets get on with this separation, figure out the house and move on with our lives. Well wrong I am about that. I have come up to the biggest brick wall road block imaginable. In front of me is a person who verbally states she wants nothing further to do with me, who claims she desperately wants D ASAP, that will shut down or flat out ignore any request to discuss how we will go about finalizing a formal separation. Currently have L drawing up a letter to request mediation between the 4 of us (myself, W, my L and her L) for a second time but I suspect it will be ignored like the first one. Anyways, I will keep plugging away and trying to move forward
To me, this suggests control.......but not by you......by your W. This works for her! She benefits from the single life, and benefits from being legally M to you, enjoying a nice home, and whatever else she profits from the M. She takes advantage of you, such as making an app't for the child, planing for you to take her, while she goes off on a trip. Her excuse of not knowing is a manipulation tool. So far, I have to question if she has had to experience any type of consequences or loss for tearing up her family........other than not sleeping with you, of course. Who instigated the separation? IDK, b/c I only glanced over your previous threads, but the story sounded very familiar.
So, you stated in one post that you were actually happier without her. You talk about having a great life, and how this arrangement is not good for the kids. You've gone to the lawyer, etc. You are just waiting on her to decide about the house? If you get a D, wouldn't she have to come to some agreement about the property? I'm just asking if there is nothing legally you can do.....if you really want a D? Now, if you are fine to continue going with things as they are, that's one thing........but if you are waiting for her to cooperate, that's another. I'm just asking if your hands are tied or is there some way to put pressure on her to get her out, if that's what you want.
Sometimes people don't know what they want, until they lose what they have. Maybe that's her problem.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
