The letters, intended to show her I cared and wanted her back, instead probably pushed her away because they were scary in their intensity.
Yep. In five years on the board the letter has never worked and usually made things worse.
Originally Posted by unchien
I can understand now why she might be scared, but it still bothers me that she didn't open up a bit more beforehand. In March I think she started thinking about leaving, we had 2 months (since January) of not really talking about things.
I'd bet every dollar in the bank she's been thinking about leaving for years. These letters and car pullovers just give her ammo to defend her actions.
Originally Posted by unchien
So here I am again... I know I frustrate a lot of people on this forum with my posts.
Not as much as some other posters lol.
Originally Posted by unchien
But I just don't agree that letting my W go right now is the "answer."
Your looking for a reason to pursue her.
Originally Posted by unchien
Look... it's a pattern. I'm either distant, or she thinks I'm liable to flip out. I was basically DB'ing from Jan-Mar and it dug me a deeper hole in my M. I felt great about myself during this time, was exercising a lot, giving her a wide berth.
I'm willing to bet again she doesn't mind the distance she is just looking for some more ammo. You over analyze things too much.
Originally Posted by unchien
I'm not really sure what I'm going to do at this point.
Yes you are. You are going to pursue her again.
Originally Posted by unchien
- My W is not in an EA/PA. It's just not possible. She's always with the kids, or with friends, and she always send pictures when out with friends.
This I agree with right now.
Originally Posted by unchien
- If my W thought our M was abusive, she would not be upset about my distance.
Again I don't think she is upset. If she was she would pursue you.
Originally Posted by unchien
I can only conclude that she is seriously unhappy and sees a life without me as a happier path. Why would that be?
That's the story of everyone here. She's unhappy and it has to be your fault and she will get rid of you and some knight in shiny white armor will come and take all her problems away and they will get married and the blended family will be just like the Brady Bunch. Or at least that's what she dreams about every day.......
