I may have this wrong but to me this doesn't sound like temp checking. Temp checking is when they do or say something and then gauge your reaction to see if you are still plan B or to do or say just enough to keep you as plan B.
Examples:
1. You look really nice today, is that a new dress. It suits you. 2. Touching you in a familiar, husbandly way (could be sexual in nature, or could be as subtle as a hand held to your shoulder for slightly too long) 3. Asking if you want to join him on family things (when he has avoided it for months)
Temp checks are OK as long as you don't have any expectations that they will lead to R. When they happen, you just have to not react to them either negatively or positively.
It is difficult to work out if a temp check is a temp check or a genuine but tentative step towards R. If it is a temp check, then as soon as he is confident that you are still Plan B, then he will revert to his pre-temp check behavior. If it is a genuine attempt at R, then the behavior will manifest consistently over a long period.
I read the question about your job as controlling or manipulative. He still wants to be consulted on things. My H was the same when I started making changes to the house. He would ask who I was getting to do it, how much it was costing, whether I had shopped around blah blah blah. Your response was the correct one (IMHO).
