The idea of filing without consulting with her has crossed my mind, but frankly I'm a little worried about how she might react to being surprised with divorce papers.
Have you thought about approaching her first and stating that you are ready to proceed with D and ask if she is OK with mediation? My XW had papers drawn up early on but never filed. A couple of years after BD I was finally the one to push it through. We used the papers she had drawn up and technically she filed, but it was at my request.
